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 The story of Cergh Temerairo

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Cergh

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Join date : 2010-01-02
Age : 24
Location : Finland

PostSubject: The story of Cergh Temerairo   Sat Jan 02, 2010 2:44 pm

Cergh was born in Darkshire into a normal human family as the only child. He was happy, he had loving and caring parents and lots of friends. All was normal then.

It ended though when Cergh reached the age of 10. His father had worked in a secret organisation, and Stormwind Citys guards attacked their home and murdered his father, as an "extremely dangerous" being. Cergh heart was broken. Loving and caring father proved out to be something totally different. His mother was in even a worse condition, and committed a suicide. Cergh left home, with his father's sword with him.

When Cergh ended up in the jungle called Stranglethorn Vale, he met another human. They became friends, and spent all the time together. They practised a little fighting, but Cergh was too weak to became a good fighter. Six years passed, and Cergh hit the age of 16. They lived in the Stranglethorn jungle all the time, they liked it. One day, they got attacked by a pack of panthers. The human friend stood up to protect Cergh and he was able to escape. After one hour Cergh returned, and found his friend, dead. He got sad, he buried his friend, left his fathers sword there too, and walked the paths alone. He wandered alone, and somehow ended up in Lordaeron. There he spent some time, but one day he was attacked by a group of bandits. He refused to give his money to them, and ended up fighing. He had learned something, and he managed to down some of the bandits. But there were too much of them, and Cergh got wounded really badly. He didn't make it in time to find any other people to help him recover, and he lost his life.

Darkness. Lights up. Cergh woke up from Deathknell with his undead body. After some time spent with recovery and getting familiar with the new body he ventured to Undercity, to practise fighting skills. He became a battlemage. Though he cannot be compared nowhere near a true mage, he can do some tricks. His goals now are to someday return to Darkshire and visit his parents graves. He also wants to clear his fathers story and destroy the organisation that destroyed his life..


((My first RP char, the story can be a little stupid etc Razz))


Last edited by Cergh on Sat Jan 02, 2010 7:29 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Grand Master Duskmantle



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PostSubject: Re: The story of Cergh Temerairo   Sat Jan 02, 2010 4:44 pm

I liked most of it. Especially the background about his father and the suicide of his mother, very tragic and fitting to the background of many Forsaken.

However... (yes I need to criticise something, take it well please), the Draenei friend is simply impossible. At the time you describe, before the Scourge and the Third War and the formation of the Forsaken, them being friends - no Draenei even knew Azeroth existed. The Exodar was still orbiting the Red World and quite simply there were no Space-Goats within 100,000 miles of the planet.

Secondly you mention Stranglethorn Vale as the place of death, by tigers, and Deathknell as the site of resurection. You've literally picked two of the most distant locations on the planet. The Scourge only struck Lordaeron and the Scourge, who would then become the Forsaken, were only risen by Necromancers/Lich's in these parts. So quite how your character, who would simply rot in the jungle otherwise, was resurrected and transported across two continents is a mystery.

The writing is brief, but it's a nice glance at a far bigger story. I want to hear more, but I strongly suggest that you revise the Draenei friendship (as the Lore clearly makes this impossible) and the location of your childhood.

Almost 90% of the Forsaken are from Lordaeron, the other 10% most likely being settled refugees from Stormwind, which was still being rebuilt at the time you describe it! Read up on this on wowwiki, and then you can pollish it up.

Remove the Space-Goat, and relocate to Lordaeron. You're done then!
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Cergh

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Location : Finland

PostSubject: Re: The story of Cergh Temerairo   Sat Jan 02, 2010 7:22 pm

Yes will do. Thanks for the comment! Very useful Smile

Edit: Done Razz
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