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 Claudine's dear diary

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Bearach

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PostSubject: Re: Claudine's dear diary   Sun Feb 28, 2010 9:55 pm

(( You're forgetting the most important thing Dusky, Never mix OoC and IC :O And I doubt that this can be fixed ICly... Major Drama. Very Happy ))
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Kelmith

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PostSubject: Re: Claudine's dear diary   Sun Feb 28, 2010 10:18 pm

(( though we'll try our best, I'm sure ))
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Grand Master Duskmantle



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PostSubject: Re: Claudine's dear diary   Mon Mar 01, 2010 12:41 am

Bearach wrote:
(( You're forgetting the most important thing Dusky, Never mix OoC and IC :O And I doubt that this can be fixed ICly... Major Drama. Very Happy ))

Read your mail... Ironically, when you try and follow -your- rule and don't discuss IC things OoC, all hell breaks loose and the two things mix. People start to hate people rather than their characters. If, alternatively, you put OoC happiness/friendships first, and discuss all IC plotlines before anything happens IC. Then such drama can be avoided.
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Claudine

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PostSubject: Re: Claudine's dear diary   Tue Mar 02, 2010 6:08 pm

2.2 - Dear Diary

I will just return to Bearach and apologize, and try to redeem myself in some way. I can't stand thinking how he must feel about me, being such a disgrace as a wife.
It will be fine as long as he doesn't make me return to the Apothecarium.

~Claudine O. Blackaxe
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Claudine

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PostSubject: Re: Claudine's dear diary   Sun Mar 07, 2010 12:00 pm

7.3 - Dear Diary

Bearach has remained surprisingly cold. I haven't seen him in some time, but I sold my best robes and old books, and everything I don't really need or use anymore. For financial help.

I also met up with my tutor. As I didn't get into Kirin Tor, she had some suggestions of where I could continue to. We sent an application letter to the Academy. From what I understood, it's mostly elven, but it's worth a try. Most of the best mages are elven, right?
Kelmith promised to stand by me. Of course, he's the best brother ever. Now I just hope I would get in that school. I still haven't dared to look for Bearach to offer him the money and tell him I never got into Kirin Tor. I am sure he never believed I would get there, but I would wish for some understanding from his side.

~Claudine O. Blackaxe

((In other words, I most likely found a new place for Claudine :3 I will be leaving rather soon, but I definitely want to RP around with you muffins <3
And this is purely for IC reasons, because the Apothecarium has caused Claudine a lot of stress and trouble, and she wants a safer environment to study in.))
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Tristan / Nakasu

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PostSubject: Re: Claudine's dear diary   Sun Mar 07, 2010 6:24 pm

((Y'know the Academy is full of Lollers, right?))
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Kelmith

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PostSubject: Re: Claudine's dear diary   Sun Mar 07, 2010 6:56 pm

((Y'know you might be generalizing, right?))
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Claudine

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PostSubject: Re: Claudine's dear diary   Mon Mar 08, 2010 11:53 am

8.3 - Dear Diary

They actually took me in as the only forsaken. I think I am allowed to follow their lessons and use my spare time for studying, but mostly my job is to look after the students and make sure everyone's fine. They're all so kind, especially my new boss. She's understanding and open minded. Although I am sure I didn't give the best picture of myself. My teacher, Anastasia Hartwell, had promised to send an application letter for me in which she would have told what can I do and why I should get in; she never did! "I wanted you to get to it yourself", she said.

People are so nice. I have my very own office, and my first assignment is to chat with each and every of the students individually. To get to know them and to make sure they're allright.
I think I will love this job.

And I hope Bearach will be happy.

~Claudine O. Blackaxe

((So, I have left the guild, but fear not, I will hang around Wink ))
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Anthraxius

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PostSubject: Re: Claudine's dear diary   Mon Mar 08, 2010 2:53 pm

((Keep up with the diary, we want to know what Claudine is upto))
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Kelmith

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PostSubject: Re: Claudine's dear diary   Mon Mar 08, 2010 4:38 pm

(( yeah, stay in the forums please ))
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Claudine

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PostSubject: Re: Claudine's dear diary   Thu May 06, 2010 2:26 pm

((Out of boredom <3))

*The text is very shaky and lacks the opulence common for Claudine's handwriting*

6.5 - Dear Diary

I don't know what to do nor where to go anymore. I am not even sure where Bearach is at the moment, and if he will find me in Anth's place. I don't want to go out.
I am afraid ex-Matthew will find me again. He called himself with an odd name, and said he is not Matthew anymore. That beast burnt my sides and belly. Guess the scars will remain there. I don't want to look in the mirror anymore. I haven't wanted ever since Bearach returned me from Taniel and her cultists. That woman marked my face, and something happened to my left hand and ankle. I don't remember.
I don't remember a half of it. Theraesis and Black were there too.
I know why Anthraxius helped me out of Matthew's hideaway, but I don't know why Halliwell was there. I suppose she wanted to play a hero. I don't want to be grateful, but I have to.

And these visions won't leave me. Especially when I am alone. It happens when I am with others too, but... I don't want to be with others, but I don't want to be alone either. I am scared and I am ashamed.
Light help me. For this one more time.

~Claudine O. Blackaxe

*a little piece of a different type of paper has been glued on the page. There's a clumsy drawing of a rat*
I found a little, white rat in Anthraxius' old house. I think he'd want to be friends with me. At least he likes the same food as I do.
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Claudine

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PostSubject: Re: Claudine's dear diary   Sun May 30, 2010 10:10 pm

((Out of randomness, to keep Claudine's IC thoughts in a neat pile))

30.5 - Dear Diary

I don't know what to do anymore.
First the cultists take me away from the Academy, then Shadeweaver, formerly Matthew, makes sure I cannot return there. Then more cultists, and La'Vey. I must be in the bottom now, the corner of the bottom. I don't know where to go from here anymore.
I still get spontaneous hallucinations. I take pills and other meds to keep my head clean of them. It's absolutely no help.
Especially now that Bearach is gone, what am I supposed to do?

He died because of me. I should have gone back home after La'Vey's assault. Not just send a letter telling I need my own time. "My own time". I just wanted to make sure nothing happened for real. I will kill La'Vey the next time I see him. I will damn do, I won't tolerate what he caused. I couldn't go home. He would have seen it.
And then he went looking for me, and his axe was found. I don't know what to do without him, I can't think he'll never come back.
People think I am an awful wife for giving up hope like this, but Dark Lady's men ensured he's officially in the list of dead. I don't want empty promises or hopes of him returning. People seem happy about his dead, and mr. Theraesis and Felucia told me he didn't even love me. I was just material. There's nothing I can do about it, but to kill La'Vey and make sure he isn't bothering me anymore.
He is the reason I left the job of a Blight Doctor in the first place.

And then Rockriver and Theraesis say they're getting married. I don't understand what Hetty sees in that fool, but.. she told me about what Kelmith did to that other girl. He isn't my brother anymore. As far as I have heard and understood that girl is Eddey's ladyfriend. What the hell was Kelmith thinking?

Now I will just focus on my training, and kill La'Vey. And make sure Matthew won't bother me again. I don't bother to run away from them anymore. At this point I wonder why don't I just join them?

~Claudine Ophelia Blacka Moore of the Blackaxe Family
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Lea

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PostSubject: Oh my!   Mon May 31, 2010 1:21 pm

(( I hope the little chat she had with Felic helped ! Surprised ))
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Claudine

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PostSubject: Re: Claudine's dear diary   Mon May 31, 2010 4:39 pm

((sure did, she had to get it all out at someone :3 and being an old-fashioned girl, a priest like Felic was a good choice))
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Kelmith

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PostSubject: Re: Claudine's dear diary   Mon May 31, 2010 6:19 pm

I do have the feeling that I've been missing a lot during my grand absence O.O

Well, I just have to get that gametime so I can try to set things right Very Happy
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Claudine

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PostSubject: Re: Claudine's dear diary   Tue Jun 01, 2010 3:49 pm

1.6 - Dear Diary

Now I just need to find La'Vey, and it should be fine. First I am taking him down, then Shadeweaver, and finally the cultists. This odd, hooded man following me against my will says I am completely out of my mind, but what else can I do? He knows less than I do.
I don't want to hire an assassin, no-one needs to get messed into this. I talked about this with sir Warren, and he was somewhat encouraging. I don't dare to tell Nakasu or anyone else either, he doesn't have to know.

Well, I got the poison done, and it works both consumed and injected.

~Claudine Ophelia Moore of the Blackaxe family
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Claudine

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PostSubject: Re: Claudine's dear diary   Fri Jun 11, 2010 3:48 pm

11.6 - Dear Diary

It's been quite a while since I have been writing anything. Alot has been happening. Kelmith is back, but he sure isn't being himself. I sense trouble, and somehow would want to stay a bit further from him for now. People have been knocking onto my door, asking his whereabouts.. and those people haven't been kind.

At least I am not that alone anymore. I am sharing my home with Orranis Darkenveir now, he is such a good listener and helper. He even fixed all my most decayed areas. My cheeks and hands are just like they used to be, and I have no visible scars. Too bad it's just an illusion that fades eventually, but I am still happy. I guess it's better to start telling people about us, instead of trying to hide the facts pitifully. Kelmith sure would understand, because Nakasu did too. I just don't want to be alone, and he is such a kind man.
I am just doing what people tell me to, to get rid of the past and start from the beginning, right?

~Claudine Ophelia Moore
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