Phlegmley's Ingenious, Slithering, Super Tome of Adventures of the Killing Engine. ( Vol 1. Chap 1. Teaser )

(( A strange title, but I did it on request! Enjoy. Hopefully. Bit of dark humor. ))

As you may know scumbags fellow apothecaries, I, Phlegmley the superior, craft my potions and products for comercial use. I would suppose this would lead you to the conclusion that I cannot make the potent and horrific concoctions you do! Mwuaha. Well, you're wrong. It wasn't long ago, I did make such an item. I called it the Killing Engine, quite dramatic, no? I, in my magnificence and divine skill and talent in apothecary work has decided to grace you all lesser beings with the enthraling story of the engine's birth. May I forewarn you, alot of you rookies may not understand what I talk about, but don't worry, I shall publish my; 'Phlegmley's Interesting, Supreme, Script of Old, Facts and Figures' soon. So don't worry idiots, your time to think shall come, at the cost of 500 gold.

On to the time, I was living when the engine was created I worked with an accountant and her son, I had some sort of connection with her, think it was marriage or something but anyway. Her and her "Darling Alistair" came round my house one day of this party we had at a chapel, and she had the nerve to sleep in the same bed as me! The cheek! Of course, I had the decency to let her down gently, the stairs were slightly padded when she landed headfirst. Then, her Alistair took over the job as accountant. His accounting for me, was horrific! Screwed up the whole budget!

Anyway, I was in my basement making my concoctions when he handed me this newspaper. I was surprised at first, after I had beaten him senseless and then make him thank me for it. It read. 'CRAZY DOCTOR PUSHES WIFE DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS', after I'd had a good laugh, I realized what trouble the lout had gotten me into. I rechecked the budget, perhaps I could make something.. Well I didn't quite know what that something was going to be, before I had made it. I just needed extra time, and some parts. It was then, I tied Alistair up, filled my estate with gunpowder and then set it a light. For years I wandered up and down Lordaeron, searching for the parts to fufil my machine. That was until I came across the dainty little town of Strahnbrad.

The next chapter will involve; Action, betrayal, excitement and for you women out there, more Phlegmley!
- Availible at the 'Curl up and Die' bookstore.
Also look out for: 'Phlegmley's Interesting, Supreme, Script of Old, Facts and Figures'.
'Big Undercity's, Great Guide to Extreme Raunchiness of Silvermoon'.
'More Advanced, Guides of Greatness using Old Tales.

(( I bet you can see them. Otherwise! ))
(( Comment - Just a faint little teaser, like "I'm really not in a cheese mood", type of thing. Although my appetite for cheese shall soon return, and Phlegmley can then bother you with the whole darn story of his mysterious machine. ))

Great work Lark! Love Phlegmley, you do him better than I. Does Alistair have wierd eyebrows too?

Great avatar by the way, love the jungle sheek. But I feel very sorry for the other tourists.